JW’s wife spoke at the Memorial Service on Tuesday. It was very generous of her. She helped me to understand why JW killed himself.
Jayne said that for the past several years, JW immersed himself more and more in his job. He would go to work everyday, come home, eat dinner, turn on the computer and go back to work. That’s not much of a life. When he became unable to work, he had nothing to fall back on—or he felt he had nothing to fall back on.
Jayne also said that the man we were remembering was not the man she had been living with for the past four months, the man who killed himself. Unable to work, JW disintegrated into greater and greater agony.
I have an image of JW crossing a bridge. He can’t go back and he can’t imagine going forward. So finally he jumped.
Jayne says that she has felt JW’s presence on several occasions. He is in a place of peace and light now.
Thank you, Jayne.